Strayer University Improving Client Retention and Success Summary

Part 1

Please Respond to the two discussion responses below. Use in-text citation and include a reference list. I have included the initial discussion question for your reference.

Initial Question :

Winning Buy-in

Scenario: You are a budding entrepreneur with a great idea, and you want to pitch it on the TV show “Shark Tank.” Your product or service should be something the Sharks want to sink their teeth into.

  • Create a 1-2 minute pitch of your idea, using the approaches described in the Weekly Materials. For this section, you may either write out your pitch or record it on video. Make sure your pitch includes:An introduction to yourself and/or your companyA hookA brief, non-confidential description of your product or serviceAny differentiating advantages your product or service offersFinancial information, such as how much your product or service sells for (for purposes of this scenario, you can make this information up)An explanation of how you will use the Sharks’ money (e.g., building your product, hiring more employees)A call to action

Response 1:

Cathrine M

Good evening, Sharks. Let me ask you, who’s heard of Red Light Therapy? Or, better stated, who hasn’t heard of Red Light Therapy? The fact is, Red Light Therapy is sweeping the nation, and this is your opportunity to partner with me in bringing Red Light Therapy to every household, everywhere. My Name is Catherine McGuire, and I’d like to introduce you to Red’s Bees Red Light Therapy.

Red Light Therapy, or RTL, is a promising treatment that uses low wavelength red light to produce a variety of therapeutic benefits. Cleveland Clinic attests to its ability to stimulate collagen and fibroblast production, increase blood circulation within the tissue, and reduce inflammation in cells. This translates superficially, improving wound healing and reducing wrinkles, scars, redness, and acne (Cleveland clinic, 1).

Guess what? The benefits of RLT don’t end there. Studies show that red light exposure alleviates seasonal mood disorders with anti-depression and anti-anxiety effects (Degree Wellness, 2). For 10 to 20 minutes per day, 3 to 5 times per week, you can dramatically improve the quality of your life through Red Light Therapy, and Red’s Bees is here to help (Flanagan, 3).

Red’s Bees is an individually strung matrix of LED Red Lights powered through batteries that charge through an iPhone charger. Whether strung in a halo shape, rectangular, or cuffed to wrap around body parts (such as the wrist), Red’s Bees accommodates your setting, and specific RTL needs. Say you’re sitting at your computer for your daily remote 9-5 job; Red’s Bees outlines every standard screen for effortless exposure and plugs into your USB outlet.Did you sprain your wrist or twist your ankle doing everyday chores? Coil Red’s Bees around the affected site and feel relief from burning inflammation. Red’s Bees can hang in your car, placed around your house, and even be used in bed; this is the most versatile product you’ve probably ever owned.

At a retail price of $129.99, the production costs for this product are $17.26 to manufacture and $22.38 for each new customer acquisition. I’m looking for a Shark to partner with me for a $100,000.00 investment and a 20% share in earnings. With a winning product like Red’s Bees, how can you lose?

** Post-pitch **

If it was not obvious, I used rhetorical appeals in the form of Ethos, Logos, and Pathos. I was careful not to overdo any one method yet successfully included each form in my delivery (JWI505, 4). I practiced the art of modern communication by looking the Sharks in their eyes and delivering a solid non-verbal cue to the authenticity of my statements. Aristotle said, “Persuasion is achieved by the speaker’s character when the speech is spoken to make us think him credible” (Singh, 5). Utilizing the Push style of Persuasion, I shared an idea and opinion, told why it was good, and I was correct, and sought their agreement. Finally, I understood the business model and the market and measured using numbers, thereby fulfilling Kevin O’Leary’s criteria for an outstanding Shark Tank presentation (Vanity Fair, 6).

The art of Persuasion is not imparted through zeal alone; it comes by strategic incorporation of persuasive elements which beckonson an audience member to go in the direction of your opinion or belief. By catering to the Shark’s preferences for rhetorical appeal, I’ve created a convincing argument for my product, Red’s Bees. I’d like to believe that every Shark jumped at the chance to invest in my product.

Response 2:


Here is an attempt to persuade the Sharks to invest in my made-up atmospheric water production company:

Hello, Sharks. My name is Muhammad Rehan and I represent XYZ air dispenser manufacturing company.

Being the man of the house, one of my responsibility bestowed upon by my beloved wife is to ensure the water dispenser is always equipped with a sufficient water supply. Do not mistake these biceps to be shaped in a gym, but these result from my daily exercise of lifting a heavy bottle and replacing it.

Remember the saying that God helps those who help themselves? All this heavy lifting made me wonder if there is a way to get water out of this dispenser without having to replace a bottle. Far-fetched, it got me thinking. I started to meet some mechanical and chemical engineers across UAE. Working tirelessly for the past 3 years, we finally developed a product that serves the purpose.

You will be surprised to know that the solution was not too complicated, it was just out there waiting for someone to notice. Yes, the very air you breathe tends to hold water vapor known commonly as Relative Humidity. Specifically, the room we are currently in has a Relative Humidity of 45% which means the air around you can hold this much water content without causing condensation. We simply found a way to harness this water content and create water from air using this product.

This started as something to help myself but as we started studying further, we came to know that UAE has a per capita consumption of 285 liters of bottled water per year in private households which amounts to 3 5-gallon bottled water per person (Dakkak, 1). Having a population of 9.99Million adds up to 2.84 billion liters of water supplied in 150.4 million 5-gallon water bottles. Let alone the cost of transportation of these bottles, consumption of water to make the bottles, consumption of fuel, and production of harmful wastes.

These statistics are only a tiny fraction of the challenges faced by this world towards sustainability. Imagine, having this product in every household, the difference we are going to make will be huge. A step toward a greener world for our coming generations where not only do we have ample supply of water but it will be coupled with minimal use of plastic.

Our cost price now is AED200 and we are retailing at AED399 with our gross profit at 50%. With the cost of marketing and maintenance of the production facility, our net profit is currently at 25%. Our total sales for the past 6 months are 2000 units targeting not only households but also private schools where they have to meet their sustainability goals.

I seek an investment of AED10 million for a 25% stake in this company. The money that I need will be used to set up additional plants in other emirates which will also require additional workers. The Shark who will take part in this venture should also be able to help with our current marketing challenges where we have not been able to tap a lot of sectors that can benefit from this technology.

Thank you! Questions?

Persuasive Techniques used:

As we have learned from this course, I have tried and used all three techniques: Ethos, Pathos, and Logos (Singh, 2). I used Ethos when I mentioned the years I have spent with engineers and my motivation behind this project. I used Logos when I shared facts about the current consumption of water and used figures to bring their attention to the bigger picture. I used Pathos to remind them of the Sustainability initiatives that we need to take to make the world a better place.

I also incorporated some brief storytelling when I shared how I am responsible to replenish water in my household and how it led to me coming across this idea (Gallo, 3).

Part 2

All About the Summary Section

The next step to building up your Executive Presence in your LinkedIn profile is to create an engaging and informative summary. Your summary goes below your picture and headline, in the section titled About. Your goal here is to describe your key skills and talents in a compelling way that will impress the audience viewing your LinkedIn profile.

Before revising your summary, ask yourself the following:

  • Is your summary interesting? What does it say about you?
  • Is it clear and concise?
  • Do you use stories and stats to generate interest?
  • Are you targeting your ideal audience?
  • Does your profile emphasize what makes you unique and valuable?
  • Does your profile communicate that you are a confident leader who gets results?

Work on enhancing your summary and then share it this week.

Here is my current summary.

As a self-motivated and highly professional individual, I can meet the high demands of clients and the services required. In this case, my proficiency and professional background will provide me with the opportunity to provide on-site litigation and subsequent support for client sites. Equally, my intense training and practice will also provide an ample opportunity for meeting strict deadlines as expected by the clients as well as exceeding the set client expectations. Ideally, to meet such expectations, the professional background and expertise in litigation matters will provide an opportunity to exercise this practice with utmost ease and thus help solve the client’s expectations as they arise. Such work, including E-Discovery, scanning, blowbacks, and copying, will also be determined on a case-to-case basis depending on the urgency and strictness of the matter. My current professional position is as an On-Site litigation Support Specialist at a leading entity in the United States. Overall, my work capabilities will contribute immensely to the growth and development of this organization and play a critical role in enhancing customer retention and the success of the organization.

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