UMCP Napa Valley Discussion
Thefollowing poorly written letter turns down the request of a bride-to-be seeking to reserve the popular Napa Valley Inn as a venue for her wedding. How can this letter be made less disappointing?
Your Task. Analyze the message. List its weaknesses, and then outline an appropriate writing plan.
7.1
Radical Rewrite: Request Refusal—Nuptials Nixed at Napa Inn
The following poorly written letter turns down the request of a bride-to-be seeking to reserve the popular
Napa Valley Inn as a venue for her wedding. How can this letter be made less disappointing?
Your Task. Analyze the message. List its weaknesses, and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If
your instructor directs, revise the message.
Current date
Ms. Sonya Capretta
2459 Sierra Avenue
Fresno, CA 93710
Dear Ms. Capretta:
We regret to inform you that the wedding date you request in your letter of February 2 at the Napa Valley
Inn is unavailable. Unfortunately, we are fully booked for all of the Saturdays in June, as you probably
already suspected.
June is our busiest month, and smart brides make their reservations many months—even years—in
advance. That’s because the Napa Valley Inn is the ideal romantic getaway for weddings. With
unparalleled cuisine and service, along with panoramic Napa Valley and vineyard views, our inn offers a
unique, intimate ambiance in a breathtaking location for your special event.
We apologize if we have caused you any inconvenience. However, if you could change your wedding
date to the middle of the week, we would try to accommodate your party. We do have a few midweek
spots open in June, but even those dates are rapidly filling up. With 45 Mediterranean-style rooms and
suites, each with its own sunny private terrace, the Napa Valley Inn is the perfect location for you and
your partner to begin your married lives. Afternoon ceremonies typically begin at 11 a.m., while golden
sunsets at the Napa Valley Inn offer a romantic prelude of the evening to come. Evening ceremonies
usually begin at 6 p.m. I’m available if you want to arrange something.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
[Your instructor may ask you to list at least five weaknesses.]
